I've just realised I haven't blogged in a long time. Sad but in all honesty I have my moments of questioning if there is anything worth blogging about in my life. A while ago...blame it on PMS/PMT.. I wondered about what I'm doing with my life. Should I got back to work and make something(carreer path) for myself or should I just relish the fact that I'm blessed to be able to stay home and look after my son? I've had many MANY conflicting thoughts about this. I actually felt embarrassed to even blog about it. I sometimes do not put my honest feelings and thoughts on this blog because it makes me feel too exposed! This blog is so personal and has everything about me that I feel some things are best left to me, myself and I - until now :)
However when I hear one of my sisters who is also a mother and holds a full time job cry over lost time with her child, I count my blessings and think maybe I should just be thankful for what I do. Don't get me wrong I love my time with my baby and just being able to watch him grow (literally), but I think my own prejudices of others in the same situation makes me feel bad. Funny that one Samoan saying is very true in this matter "Ua toe fasia lava oe i ou mafaufauga" traslates into "You harm yourself with your own thoughts".
So lately I've been trying to clear my head of such negative thoughts about stay-at-home-moms...(ha I even dislike that label immensely)...there, that's a step away from 'hate' itself:)
Last Friday(Sunday in Oman) I went to church.. as someone(Samoan) would then comment to this...all the angels in Heaven must have sung and danced that day because I'd finally made it to church. Yep I haven't been in a long time. I do want to go but then something comes up or I just don't want to get up...plain and simple. So now with my son, I've thought of how I learned about my faith and realised that in order for him to learn about God, I've got to go to church so that he has a base for his faith in his life. What he does with it later is his choice just like it was my choice with mine.
Actually this dilemma came up when a friend whose son goes to school here was asked by the teacher if it was okay if her son went to the Islamic classes they had. As Oman is a Muslim country and the school is predominantly Muslim. She was asked permission which is fair and my friend said she answered yes. However she wasn't very sure if she had done the right thing. I thought about it and said that it actually did matter a lot. What he learns now will be the basis for his faith forever. So if she wants her son to be Muslim then yes by all means let him learn it at school however if she wants him to be a Christian(like she was) then teach him so. I told her so and she asked how her son would learn about Christianity.... and there the question was posed; on how I was going to teach my own son about our faith?
My answer: I, the parent start going to church and when sonny boy can walk on his own and listen for more than a minute to the teacher, he will come with me and he will learn about God at Sunday school and of course I shall read the bible to him. I will also try and explain that God is who we follow and not a 'Church'.


It's true what they say about human nature, we always want what we don't have,.,...and you dont know what youve got till its gone,...or something along those lines.
I wish I had as much time as you with baby, but i don't have that priviledge becuase i also want to be financially secure so we can do the things we want. If my koa2 wasn't so broke as, i would be with MM as well heheh but hey, he's only a baby once, you can get back into work and study when hes a bit older. ...or you can do a paper online or with a uni there to get your braincells working...whatever makes you happy!!! just think, youre gonna look back and wish you had more time with your loved could your blessings matey...count your blessings!!!
and have faith, and have a swig of baileys if the answer doesn't come flooding in pronto....luv youuuuu!!!
DengXiao said…
When my amazing daughter was born 12 months ago, I desperately wanted to sell my ride to fund an extended parental leave. Not a day go by where I dont wish I win Lotto to pimp my crib and fund an everlasting parental leave.

But reality came knocking and nappies dont grow on trees. So 6 months later in fulltime care, she barely waves goodbye to me in the morning as she has vegimite toast and cereal for breakfast with other lifers, and she always looks happy to see me when its time to go home after work. It's not perfect, but we're making lemonade.

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