Mourning

The past week has been one of the saddest in my lifetime. When I heard about the tsunami I spent hours glued to the news on TV and also news from family and friends online. Video after video and story after story unfolded the horrific extent of the damage the tsunami had done to my beloved people. It felt wrong sitting in my nice apartment eating well with my family when across the oceans my fellow Samoans were fighting for their lives let alone looking for their toddlers, wives or parents. Each story seemed sadder than the last and I end up crying harder. Just when I think I'm okay I see yet another sad video and the loss is so endless I crying again. But the amazing thing is or what warms me in a way is that I know I'm not alone in this. I think anyone who is Samoan has been like me in the past two weeks, just a wreck and with puffy eyes from crying so much. I never thought I could cry so much in a week. I would find my husband with red-rimmed eyes by the computer and then I'd see he's also been reading up on the events back home. I'd show him a video I found online and again I'd cry with him as I watch the sad tale again. And then the survival stories trickle through that lifts the spirit only for a while before you come across another heartbreaking story. Yesterday was White Sunday in Samoa and my sister FJ shared the Tagata Pasifika online link which covered more from Samoa. And one young woman who has lost both her toddler and baby, clearly very distraught in her distant grieving voice and face that hid nothing she said that God gave her the most beautiful children and He had taken them back. Just when I think I'm on my recovery journey I see something like that and I'm back to square one as I cannot fathom what it's like to lose your family in an instant like that and in such a tragic way. I pray for that woman and her pain, I pray for all of them that suffered so much loss. I pray for their recovery from deep emotional wounds. I pray they find a way to move forward amidst the loss and devastation.
I busied myself along with many other Samoan brothers and sisters by finding ways to encourage people to donate what you can to Samoa to help feed, clothe and house them for now and later to rebuild. When I spoke to my youngest sister who is in Samoa and was at the devastated areas from the start she told of how they finally found our relatives in Saleapaga. Sadly our aunty that we all know died in the tsunami but the rest of the family were thankful that as sad as it was they lost ONE person as opposed to all their neighbours who lost at least three members of their families. It's amazing that in the midst of their grief they see the bright side as well. This is an amazing story that my sister told me of our cousin Paneta's experience. Paneta told my sister that when he saw the wave heading towards them after his father who first saw it and alerted the neighbourhood to run for the hills. Paneta ran back to the big fale(house) and grabbed his 4 year old son Seti and nephew Lailua. With both boys in either arm he tried to run as fast as he could up the hill towards the cliff like most of the neighbourhood. He said he didn't get far before the wave hit him from behind. He said it was so powerful he realised he'd lost grip of his son Seti. He was trying to stay afloat hold his nephew and get to the cliff before the wave receded. He saw his son a few metres from him, out of his reach. He said he thought there is no way he can get to him now and save them all so he said a silent prayer to God and said God if this is your will, then so be it. So he yelled out to his son: 'Fa Seti' meaning 'Goodbye Seti' as ge watched his son's head bobbing in the wave. He managed to get on the cliff with the help of others who were already there and his nephew due to the roughness suffered a minor head injury. As they stood on the cliff and watched the devastation and the water receding, they heard a little voice yelling out to help him. And when they looked towards the stream which the water had now receded towards, there was his 4 year old son Seti hanging onto a banana tree trunk trying to swim to the river bank. Seti escaped without a single scratch on his body. When my sister asked little Seti how he survived. Seti said he just kept swimming then he saw the banana tree trunk and hung on to it and kept swimming. I see this as a miracle. Maybe God hearing Paneta's prayer decided his will is that Seti must survive! I don't know what it was but that is one of the most beautiful stories that came out of this devastation.
People ask me how my family are and how Samoa's doing and I find myself fighting back tears as I try to answer them in a composed way. It's been a terrible terrible week for Samoans around the world but mostly those that were affected directly. However the united front that our people have put up in order to fundraise and donate to the victims has been downright amazing. The reaction from our neighbours New Zealand and Australia have been nothing but just incredible. I had applied for NZ citizenship a couple of months ago and I commented to my husband that I would accept that citizenship with much pride and appreciation even more so considering the outpouring of support and assistance from New Zealand to Samoa. Thank you to everyone that have kept us in your thoughts and prayers and those that have given things to help our people. Your help is always welcome. Ia faatutumuina e le Atua mea ua faagaogaoina ona o lo outou alolofa.

A tribute to the Tsunami Samoa victims

Survivors

Samoa Tsunami

I had just hopped into bed last night when the landline started ringing. I ran out to the lounge to pick up the phone and my heart started pounding as late calls usually mean bad news. It was my mother inlaw calling to inform us that a tsunami had just hit Samoa and if my family was okay. The sick feeling I felt in the pit of my stomach was all I felt at that very moment. My mind raced as I tried to think if my family were in the danger areas. Poutasi, Falealili was mentioned and I felt even more sick as my sister J was in Poutasi to do her research there and now I was praying that she had left the area. I hung up the phone and started the marathon calls to Samoa to all my family's numbers. As I've just changed phones I didn't have all the numbers saved but these I have committed to memory. Amazing in the moment of stress and panic, I couldn't remember some of the numbers that I dial over and over. Panic rose as I could not get through to anyone. I was just not connecting. I then rang Nets(Samoan sister) in Dubai to see if she knew and she was the one that updated me that everyone in Apia were evacuated to higher grounds however Lalomanu, Falealili and Satupaitea received the wrath of the wave and suffered losses to property and loved ones! Netia was skyping with Utu in Geneva and we were conference calling as we tried to make sense of what was going on at home. My internet was down so I couldn't even be updated online or get to my family that way. Nets who was on facebook saw my my journalist sister(CJ) had just updated her status on the disaster then sent her a message from me if they were okay. Within 20 minutes my sister who was online sending off news returned the message that they were all okay and not to worry about our family. So I said my prayers of thanks my family was spared but prayed for others that were injured and lost loved ones themselves:( I tried to call again but to no avail.
I woke up this morning to more disastrous news that there were more deaths than anticipated. The beautiful beaches of Lalomanu and Falealili were washed away. A lot of the beach fales in Lalomanu were washed away so it is feared that many tourists may have perished in the tsunami as well. The female owner of Sinalei Resort is said to have died in the tsunami and her husband is in the hospital injured. They were friends of Mom's and very popular people in the community. So so sad and am praying for all the victims families and those who are suffering in Samoa.
I urge people to send what you can to help. They need tents, water, clothing and I say send money to the Samoan Red Cross if you can as they will be at the front helping people in the villages.

9/9/09

Metro
Today was the first day the metro started running here in Dubai. The radio stations and newspapers also published the rules and regulations for the metro. The metro is the hopeful relief to the traffic problems here in Dubai so we'll see what happens. The traffic is still a major problem here. Nets drove to pick us up from the hotel which is 10 mins away from her so we could go to a friend's birthday breakfast and well she was still in traffic in the morning for 2 whole hours!!! The breakfast turned into a birthday lunch due to our tardiness thanks to the traffic.

We're currently at Nets and Rich's in Sharjah and having a ball. We haven't quite made it home just yet on our way from New Zealand.

It's my birthday
Two years in a row now I'm in the UAE for my birthday. I'm such a lucky girl. Nets got up early and made us all a lovely bacon and eggs breakfast. It was fantastico. Later in the evening the ladies of Dubai came over and we had a few drinks, laughs and danced a lot. It was a good evening indeed. Meanwhile Tau is fast asleep in the room(a lovely present from my darling son) and hubby was in Oman working. He arrived at 3am just when we couldn't stay on our feet:) Thanks to our darling friends Nets and Rich for such a lovely day. On top of that I got loads of well-wishes from family and friends which made me feel special:)

Dragon Mart
We went out tho Dragon Mart of Emirates Road in Dubai and what a place. It was a huge market place type of mall with everything you can think off and a cheaper price than you'd get anywhere else. Either they were the real thing or you could get a knock off of some good phones. They had dual sim cell phones which were pretty cool and reasonably priced. So that was an interesting trip.

Fun
We're still in the UAE with our friends. We're actually staying in Sharjah with Nets and Goose and it's great.
This is our daily routine.
7am wake up with Tau have breakfast then read a book or go on the internet. When eveyone's awake we have a tennis game on Wii. So the day continues with one challenging the other for another game. It's just a lot of fun. We have lunch and then out to do something or go swimming downstairs. Tau is at a no-fear stage with swimming. He just walks straight INTO the pool. Not even pause and jump it's just like he's walking along but the next step is off the edge and into the pool. Needless to say I was kept on my toes with eyes WIDE open watching him. He had fun and I sort of had fun running after him. Right now I hear Nets mixing something in the kitchen and Tau is in their chatting away to her like he's really talking. Nets is of course humouring him and they seem to be speaking the same language...heh heh She gonna kill me for that comment.

Tau's 1st Birthday

We had planned to have Tau's brithday at the beach since it's prettier out there and the beach will keep the kids busy for hours. We were going to bbq on the beach and have a pig on the spit and celebrate till we drop. Come Saturday morning we woke up to heavy rain and heavy clouds. We thought it might be better on the other side of the island so my dear sister and nieces drove on ahead to hold a couple of fales for us before we all descends upon the chosen beach. Well we were constantly in touch and 'sister' called to say that it was stormy out at the beach. So a quick call around to the other family and my older sister suggested we do the birthday at their place since it's indoors away from the rain and in town. So I called all the cars that were heading towards the beach and everyone happily did their u-turns and headed back to town including us.
We kicked started the celebrations with games for the kids that even the adults joined in. It was just hilarious. Grandma lead most of the games and it was just good fun. Among my own family there must have been twenty kids of all ages. The kids enjoyed themselves but the poor birthday boy was teething and only had about 20 minutes of total enjoyment before succumbing to the pain and going to sleep for the rest of the afternoon. We had the food at about 2.30pm and the pig came off the spit yummy and scrumptious along with the lamb chops and sausages from the barbie, taro, luau and others. Great food and the cake was also yummy from Adria's. It was a fun party and I think everyone enjoyed it. Later on when everyone left, Tau went home with his nana and poppa and we(daddy, Aunty Relle and Aunty Nets, uncle Kilisi and self) went out to relax and celebrate Tau's first birthday our way. It was a nice night of sheer stupidity, laughs and catching up with cousins old mates and new people.
Thanks to everyone that made baby Tau's birthday a success: Grandma VMJ, Aunty Lani & hubby, Aunty Relle, Uncle Kilisi, Nana Sue n Poppa Jim, Aunty Nets, Aunty Vicky and Aunty Andrea.

Samoa

We spent the whole of June in Samoa and it was just beautiful. Tau and I arrived in Samoa on June 2nd and hubby arrived on the 9th. Unfortunately the holiday kicked off on a sad note due to the death of the sister of friends due to a car accident. Net was still in Samoa so we both went to the family service which was very touching and a beautiful celebration of her life. She was a beautiful girl that lived life to the fullest. I didn't know her well but were only friends on bebo. She was a very active member on bebo and now miss her constant updates on her busy social life and her love for her beautiful niece that she's left behind. I could not imagine the pain the family is experiencing at the sudden loss of their beloved sister and daughter. I pray that they are healing and coming to terms in some way with their tragic loss.
Paradies
Nets and I went out a couple of nights to check out the local scene that we had missed out on in the past months! Nice to see that no one missed us and that everything was the same! I love it...you go you come back and it's the same beloved people that keep the outing culture alive in paradise.
It was lovely to see mom and the rest of the family and friends whom we hadn't seen in awhile.
Row your boat
Jody sent her 2 year old daughter with hubby's parents for a week in Samoa with us. It was lovely having little MM over and by the time she left all the kids in the family were singing row row you boat and screaming at the end after being thrown overboard.
Village Politics
Savaii is as tranquil as ever at least in our neck of the woods...even more so as we are ostracized from our village..ha! Funny though most of people working at the hotel are from the said village so hmmm. The family dynamics haven't changed one bit and whether it is moving forward is yet to be seen. I guess the next few months will determine our status in the village. Funny though that the courts ruled that we are the rightful owners of the titles and yet one selfish man in the village who wants it all is driving the cowardly village matais to keep us out! Village politics is something else as well move aside John Key and the gang.
Road Switch
The road switch is set to go ahead in September and on the Samoan Observer Newspaper everyday is a government sponsored ad that counts down towards the switch date and with the message: 'your life is your responsibility!' Yes the government have passed a bill that they will not be held accountable for any lives lost due to any accidents that occur as a result of the road swith. Currently Samoans drive on the right side of the road but the government are changing it to the left side! Well I was appalled that they are spending so much money on this unnecessary switch and yet the state of the roads all over Upolu and in the township in Savaii is outrageous. Half the time you are trying to avoid the deep potholes on the road...so add the road switch on top of that, there will be countless accidents unless the draw arrows all over the roads in Samoa and hope for the best:(

Arrived Safely

Here were are in Hamilton NZ. We had a good but looooong flight from Oman. Tau was very good the whole way. I was chasing him up the aisles as he crawled up and down and smiled at the different passengers. Some quite happy to entertain him, others with scowls on their faces of which Tau then kept going or wouldn't move till her got some acknowledgment ha ha! I love my smiling little boy. There are some courteous people out there. In Muscat one guy offered to bring take our cabin bag onto the plane and proceeded to follow us all the way stowed the bag and then told me that he will take it off the plane until we part ways in Dubai. I was taken aback but thanked him profusely and sat down to make Tau comfortable. The guy did as he promised when we landed in Dubai. Once off the aircraft I put Tau in the sling and dragged our bag along. Once we made it into the main terminal I found Emirates strollers that I then blonked Tau into and went to look for the evasive Marhaba lounge which we had booked into, to spend the next four hours in. Well I thought we would leave from Terminal 3 which had the newer lounge and this was the Emirates terminal supposedly. I looked at my boarding pass and realised that our gate was in the opposite direction. So I stopped a buggy driven by two local guys and asked where my gate was. The driver said but you are on the other side and you must go back. I asked if we could get a ride on their buggy which had free seats. The guy said sorry I can't but look for another buggy. I said but you're the only one I've seen since I got here. Unbelievable that they didn't even offer to help or call another buggy. I thanked then and turned to go towards our gate. Stuff the Marhaba lounge I was not going to run a marathon just to get to my gate when it was time to leave, plus my feet were killing me.
And yep our gate was at Terminal 1 on the other side. As it worked out the old Marhaba lounge was right next to our gate. So boo hoo I didn't get to try out the new one but we happily lounged in it and ate and drank while waiting for our connecting flight.
We got our requested seat on the flight from Dubai to NZ which was fantastic. An UAE citizen sat next to us who couldn't have been nicer and more tolerant with bubs the whole way. Tau proceeded to play with him or kick the poor guy's tv screen due to limited space but the super pax took it all in his stride. I say God bless that guy. Meanwhile a younger couple next to the super pax had started to give bubs the looks when he made some noise to which I eyeballed them until they smiled and pretended to like Tau.
Tau was really good and when it was bed time he slept for awhile in the bassinet. The flight attendants were nice enough. One guy was really good with babies and everytime he walked past he would try to get a reaction from Tau.
We stopped over in Melbourne. Come boardig time one lady offered to take our bag onto the flight. I was soooo releived when we got here. Gui and my niece Maeva were waiting for us with a spongebob baloon for Tau which was sooo sweet. We headed straight for my Aunty's in South Auckland and had a big toonai that was awaiting us of Samoan food. My older sister Lani had just arrived a few hours before us from Samoa with some favourites so it was fantastic. We drove home and knocked out as we were tooo tired. Tau woke up at midnight and stayed up till 3am. The next night he was up again at midnight until 5am!!! Last night I was too tired I just left him in his cot. Best to let him know already that it's not playtime but SLEEP time. So needless to say I feel much better today from a good night's sleep. About to head out to look around and buy some food for the little man. It's great to see my sister and family. Tau and his cousin Maeva are getting along fine and so cute together. Maeva is in to puzzles at the moment. She can put one together really fast. While she's at it Tau would crawl along a grab a piece and that's when Maeva says 'go way' go away to Tau. It's funny to watch these two.
Good to be with the family and looking forward to see more this week-end yipppeeeee.

Survivor Samoa

I just watched the final episode of Survivor Tocantins which was filmed in Brazil. I actually enjoy watching this show. It's a live documentary of the Human Species at it's best and worst. So tonight JT the southerner won. He was a nice guy and he deserved to win much more than his 'BS artist' friend Stephen who could not tell the truth to save himself. Anyway in the end, most of those people end up lying, break people's trust just to get further in the game. It's a great show of how a million dollars affect people's decisions and the way they treat each other.
They've announced that the next show will be filmed in my beloved country SAMOA. I think it's great tourism exposure for Samoa but I wonder also about other factors that might affect the ecosystem there. For example what greenery are they going to clear in order to shoot the show and do the challenges. Watching the past shows, I always cringed at the use and abuse of nature by some of the competitors on the show. It just shows how different cultures and up-bringings affect people and how we perceive things. For example in one of the shows...I can't remember which exactly...but at the end when the remaining survivors were about to leave the 'island' they proceeded to burn the camp and everything they used. I couldn't believe it...
First of all- the danger to the environment, of causing a massive fire in the woods and the smoke itself billowing from the fire. Unnecessary pollution in an isolated area.
Second - such wastage, those items could have been used by others or locals in the area.
Anyway I look forward to the Survivor Samoa show and hope they are getting good advisors on cultural issues so I don't get pissed off when they don't explain something right. ha ha

Faith

I've just realised I haven't blogged in a long time. Sad but in all honesty I have my moments of questioning if there is anything worth blogging about in my life. A while ago...blame it on PMS/PMT.. I wondered about what I'm doing with my life. Should I got back to work and make something(carreer path) for myself or should I just relish the fact that I'm blessed to be able to stay home and look after my son? I've had many MANY conflicting thoughts about this. I actually felt embarrassed to even blog about it. I sometimes do not put my honest feelings and thoughts on this blog because it makes me feel too exposed! This blog is so personal and has everything about me that I feel some things are best left to me, myself and I - until now :)
However when I hear one of my sisters who is also a mother and holds a full time job cry over lost time with her child, I count my blessings and think maybe I should just be thankful for what I do. Don't get me wrong I love my time with my baby and just being able to watch him grow (literally), but I think my own prejudices of others in the same situation makes me feel bad. Funny that one Samoan saying is very true in this matter "Ua toe fasia lava oe i ou mafaufauga" traslates into "You harm yourself with your own thoughts".
So lately I've been trying to clear my head of such negative thoughts about stay-at-home-moms...(ha I even dislike that label immensely)...there, that's a step away from 'hate' itself:)
Last Friday(Sunday in Oman) I went to church.. as someone(Samoan) would then comment to this...all the angels in Heaven must have sung and danced that day because I'd finally made it to church. Yep I haven't been in a long time. I do want to go but then something comes up or I just don't want to get up...plain and simple. So now with my son, I've thought of how I learned about my faith and realised that in order for him to learn about God, I've got to go to church so that he has a base for his faith in his life. What he does with it later is his choice just like it was my choice with mine.
Actually this dilemma came up when a friend whose son goes to school here was asked by the teacher if it was okay if her son went to the Islamic classes they had. As Oman is a Muslim country and the school is predominantly Muslim. She was asked permission which is fair and my friend said she answered yes. However she wasn't very sure if she had done the right thing. I thought about it and said that it actually did matter a lot. What he learns now will be the basis for his faith forever. So if she wants her son to be Muslim then yes by all means let him learn it at school however if she wants him to be a Christian(like she was) then teach him so. I told her so and she asked how her son would learn about Christianity.... and there the question was posed; on how I was going to teach my own son about our faith?
My answer: I, the parent start going to church and when sonny boy can walk on his own and listen for more than a minute to the teacher, he will come with me and he will learn about God at Sunday school and of course I shall read the bible to him. I will also try and explain that God is who we follow and not a 'Church'.