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Sunday, November 11, 2007

Fragility that's life.

I went to work last night and was told that one of our colleagues got hit by a car last weekend and was barely alive at ICU at a local hospital. They said he was suffering from broken bones and was brain damaged. I just got a call first thing this morning that Kieren didn't make it through the night.
It's so surreal and so so sad. May he rest in peace.
Just a few months ago he told me he dozed off on the couch at work and woke up gasping for air. He said it really rattled him and it made him realise how we could go at any minute. I suggested he does something to relax or get away for a while. He then said that he'd already booked a flight home to England to see his family on holiday before returning to work. He'd been back to work for a few months and he'd just booked a holiday to India for December!!! Some of us at work were well aware that he was on a mission to do as much as he could. He was also trying new things like meditation and other forms of relaxation. Knowing this I feel that he was literally living life to the fullest and making the most of it.
I pray for his family. I pray that he didn't suffer much pain. I will miss him in the staff room, how he sits in one corner and quietly contributes to the conversations. He rode a bike to work in shorts and a t-shirt and we started calling him superman because he'd disappear into the bathroom and come out all dressed-up ready to teach. It is simply sad and it really reminds me again of just how fragile life really is.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Purpose?

What is our role in life? I think of this a lot when we encounter other people. I sometimes question our purpose in life. What do we all strive for? Happiness? Reaching a common good of some sort?
But what is happiness?
The definition of happiness may not be the same for everyone. Is it owning a house and a car? Is it having a family and a secure full time job? Is it travelling all over the world? Is it being around people that matter to one the most? Is it following ones dreams and reaching ones goals? Will that bring happiness? Or is just the journey through life that is?
I wonder sometimes if I'm happy. Other times I'm totally content with life and appreciate my place or role in life and others I question my contentedness whether it is a false sense of happiness.
I have had these feelings since I could wonder and ponder about life. I used to escape to our untended backyard where the grass was almost as tall as I was and lie under the guava or banana trees and wonder about it all. Sometimes as I observe the stars at night I would wonder what was out there for me. I wonder if I've stopped looking forward and am just living in the moment? Or am I living in the future and not in the moment? Well I don't know I can't really say for sure. All I know is these thoughts cross my mind sometimes.
I encounter others and their life experiences, their future ambitions or lack thereof and I wonder about their lives too whether they are truly happy or are they in search of something else? Are they living in the moment, living for others or doing so because it makes one happy?
Or do I just think too much and not just enjoy life as it is?