Today my son and I went to see our loved one undergoing chemotherapy at the Wellington hospital. We come upon a room with six cubicles and at the end on one side is our loved one. We sat by her and chatted while the machine dispensing the chemo drug beeped away. There were 5 others in the other seats with the tubes in their arms while the machines bumped away. The hospital obviously tried to make it as user friendly as possible but the reason why we were there doesn't get away from any of us. My son was a bit confused and stayed away. After awhile we went to leave, our loved one had been there since 8.30am and now it was 1.30pm and she still had radio therapy to go after another hour of chemo. It's been a long day for her. I wish I had powers to just heal her and make this shitty cancer go away but alas here we are.
As my son and I were leaving we heard the organ playing in the lobby. We came down the escalator and walked towards the music. We came upon a young lad playing classical music on a big white grand piano and I walked my son around to watch his fingers at work. Instead my son lets go of my hand and started to dance to the music in his slow coordinated movements. I watched him and felt my sadness surface. I just wanted to find a corner to curl up and cry my heart out, feeling so sad for our loved ones battling this awful disease cancer. As I watched him, it reminded me of my youngest sister at one and a half years and how she danced at my dad's funeral when I was five and a half. I quickly grabbed my son's hand and walked out of the hospital leaving the sad music behind.
I pray for your strength of body, spirit and mind and that you'll get through this. We love you.