I just saw this news on stuff.co.nz of a woman that gave birth and left her newbown baby on a Poly Blue flight from Samoa yesterday. Staff found the baby in the toilet and reported it to the authorities immediately. According to stuff.co.nz a woman suspected to be the mother later approached customs bleeding heavily. Both baby and mother were then taken to the hospital and received treatment there.
My heart goes out to that woman and her plight. I pray that the little miracle survives and nothing is wrong with it. Details are not clear on why she did what she did but this is not news. This happens too often than not in Samoa. Some of the cases that I know of is a woman has a back or tummy ache and when they go to the hospital they are shocked to be told that they are in fact experiencing labour and about to have a baby.
The pressure from family and society, I think, forces women to deny that they are in fact pregnant. Admitting one is pregnant outside of marriage is advertising that she is indeed having sex! Coincidentally we were talking about this with a friend of mine and she did not believe that women could hide or are not aware they are pregnant until they actually give birth.
I think this is where the phenomenon of mind over matter comes into play. The women being so frightened of the social, cultural and religious repercussions on herself and her family proceed to hide or deny their pregnancies probably with the hope that it'll just go away and they won't have to deal with it. I know of at least three cases where this happened. Three of them are all well educated intelligent women and this is what I find appalling. The pressures from family and society is so strong that even these intelligent women, against their better judgement decide (maybe subconciously) to hide the shame they are cursed with(?) One of the cases ended in marriage because she was in fact in a relationship with the father of the baby. The other also kept her baby and is in a close relationship with the father of her baby. The last also kept her baby unfortunately or maybe fortunately the 'little' man she conceived her little blessing with denied any involvement as he was about to be married to someone else. However in all three cases these women are doting mothers to their babies and their families of course were and are there for them.
Our society still praises the virginal all-round 'good' girl image and tarnishes or gossip endlessly about those who don't fall under that category. However the all-round good girl image is very fragile as people will still make up false stories to ruin people's reputations.
I dislike the fact that because of all this pretentiousness some women are robbed of the right or the experience of enjoying and celebrating their being pregnant. It is after-all a pregnancy, and a precious human being is the end result of it all. Why does it matter how or who was involved in the making of it? Or whether those involved are worthy? What's done is done just focus on the journey and the child that will emerge at the end. In the end this child will be told one way or another(by some other pretentious ass) of all this heartache and shame that its mother went through before its arrival.
I feel strongly about this because it pisses me off that people have the need to gossip endlessly about those that get pregnant before marriage when in fact this actually happens in every family. People are quick to point fingers and yet the year before someone in their family had the same plight. It is an awful awful cycle. So I say to all those women that fall pregnant at home... just come out and tell your family... do not try and hide it... they will have to deal with it after all and you'll be surprised by their reaction. ENJOY your pregnancy. You are beautiful and just tell those other buggers to bugger off.
(note from the writer-excuse the strong language at the end as the writer got sick of trying to dress up her disgust-choo hooo)